Like a Duck
There’s a saying about swimming like a duck... something about seeming to glide across the water while in reality underneath a calm surface your paddling like mad. I’m not sure this is that. That implies progress, while I feel like I’m paddling madly but in no direction. Like someone threw the oars overboard... no, like they detached the paddles from my paddleboat. I keep churning my feet on those peddles, but since they’re not connected to anything.... I can think of many things I should be doing. So very many things. How many of them am I going to get done tonight? Roughly none. My heart hurts... and it’s making my brain hurt. I want my girl to be safe. That shouldn’t be a hope that makes your heart hurt.