The Floor is Lava
My dreams can be dark these days, and bear hidden dangers. A seemingly harmless (even boring) cubicle in some no-name office that I was visiting, my laptop, phone, and various personal items for some reason strewn on the desktop surface as I work. Except suddenly the space under just that cubicle has turned to lava... the desktop sinks into it, the corner of my laptop is sinking... can I save everything fast enough?
When I was young I had similar dreams whenever I was facing a major life turning point. Should I focus on career or starting a family? Should I take on that new project at work that will suck up all of my time but be good for my career? The dreams involved water, being in a vehicle that went off of something (a bridge, a dock, a cliff, ...) into water and then the car ever so slowly floated down into the water. Could I get out in time? With the weird physics of dreams, I could hold the car aloft with a single hand and it would sink markedly less slowly while I held it. Baby in the backseat (I was single and had no children) and my palm pilot (yes I'm that old) in the front - what would I save from the rising waters and the falling car?
I think I'd rather return to the waters, because these new lava dreams seem darker and more sinister. Feeling the heat and seeing things melt into the lava, watching whatever I don't save be destroyed completely, with no hope of retrieval/redemption. In the last one I remember before I just accepted that sleep was not going to happen, the lava reached the corner of my laptop. I stared in horror at the thought of my life's work melting into the molten pool, and then snatched my laptop at the last possible moment.
Certainly, these days I am letting work slide more as I try to keep everything afloat at home. I've told the people that need to know, but the rest may indeed wonder what the hell is wrong with me and where I am. It's possible... and I deeply, viciously hate that it's possible. But my girl comes first. I'll choose my baby before the palm pilot, every time.
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| Bubbling under my feet and then trying to suck down everything I care about..... |
When I was young I had similar dreams whenever I was facing a major life turning point. Should I focus on career or starting a family? Should I take on that new project at work that will suck up all of my time but be good for my career? The dreams involved water, being in a vehicle that went off of something (a bridge, a dock, a cliff, ...) into water and then the car ever so slowly floated down into the water. Could I get out in time? With the weird physics of dreams, I could hold the car aloft with a single hand and it would sink markedly less slowly while I held it. Baby in the backseat (I was single and had no children) and my palm pilot (yes I'm that old) in the front - what would I save from the rising waters and the falling car?
I think I'd rather return to the waters, because these new lava dreams seem darker and more sinister. Feeling the heat and seeing things melt into the lava, watching whatever I don't save be destroyed completely, with no hope of retrieval/redemption. In the last one I remember before I just accepted that sleep was not going to happen, the lava reached the corner of my laptop. I stared in horror at the thought of my life's work melting into the molten pool, and then snatched my laptop at the last possible moment.
Certainly, these days I am letting work slide more as I try to keep everything afloat at home. I've told the people that need to know, but the rest may indeed wonder what the hell is wrong with me and where I am. It's possible... and I deeply, viciously hate that it's possible. But my girl comes first. I'll choose my baby before the palm pilot, every time.
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| Meanwhile, if my brain's going to give me fever dreams about lava, why couldn't it be a Balrog that I could fight and defeat? I mean, I'm not Gandalf but we are talking about a dream here.... |
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